Thursday, April 7, 2011

Promoting Modesty: Unlocking Feminity

Unlocking And Modesty Please Go to the link above and take time to read the artical. My computer is having trouble with copy and paste...otherwise I would've posted this artical on my blog. The link is NOT direct so you will have to search that in the Google search engine...Thanks! God Bless and happy reading! =)

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

I don't even know...

So I'm really trying to hold it all together and just 'be'. Well, that's harder than it looks. I desire to feel like a whole person but, I just don't right now. I am unsure of so many things right now, I am trying really hard to trust God. It's just a scary thing to not be able to see what's gonna' happen next. I don't know if yall know what I mean by all this. Just bare with me here. I'm just gonna' ramble because my brain feels like scrambled egg soup right now. Rambling is all I can accomplish at the moment.
Everything is just so difficult. Marriage is not an easy thing. Please, don't take this the wrong way...I love my marriage I am so blessed and so happy and so comfortable and content with it all. I love Jonathan he is the best man ever. Everything is just great! But that's just's all just great. Everything is running smoothly. I am kind of getting tired of that. I really desire a challenge. I desire for my faith to be stretched further than it already has been. I want to draw closer to God and Jonathan. I'm just really am confused and I am needing answers. 20 years old is a very difficult age. It's like, your not a kid anymore and your not quite a teenager's like your being pulled in the direction of adulthood but at the same time you want to hold on to that easy life of being a happy-go-lucky teenager. You know? I just feel very unstable emotionally. I don't know who to be or how to feel. I'm not sure if any other 20 year old women like me out there feel like that but if so, please leave a comment! I really want to hear from you ladies. How are you handling things? It's hard for me to just sit back and be content and happy with everything. I guess earlier, the reason why I had mentioned I felt like I needed a big scary challenge was because...growing up nothing was always happy and perfect. Happy and perfect is what my life feels like now. And, it almost feels like there is something terribly wrong with that. I feel like because everything is going so well, that there must be some big underlying thing that is going wrong. I know that isn't true. Everything is just perfect and happy. As I was saying, my life growing up wasn't always like that, if it was, it didn't last for too long-and then something terrible happened and a humongous challenge whacked everyone in the face. It woke us up! It rocked the boat...even though those moments of uncertainty and difficulty were very stressful and scary...I got this odd joy that came out of going through such testing times. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I just have been wanting some huge hard thing to happen to us...nothing harmful or anything like that lol...just some trying and testing of my faith, our faith as a married couple. The first thing I can think of that in my opinion would be a large scary testing, type challenge would be having a child. That would rock the boat quite a bit. I guess I am feeling this way because I really desire to have a deeper relationship with God and my Husband. I desire for my faith to grow, and my relationship to grow even stronger than it is now -with my Husband. I want to draw closer to God, and draw closer to my spouse. Am I crazy for feeling this way? I need some advice from a woman who's been here! Please. Whatever lady can unscramble the mess of words that I so call -a blog post, and turn it around and help me get some advice from all that I've shared would be deemed a genius in my book. Because, there are so many woman and people who can't figure me out. They don't understand me. All I'm wanting is to be understood by a woman that is going through, or has gone through what this woman is going through! *Sigh*....please comment, I'd like to keep my hair.



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Monday, March 7, 2011

Yes Again...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

On My Mind

Nope, it's not what it may look That's not my daughter! My friend came to our home Sunday afternoon and brought HER daughter along. My Husband and I were glad to see all of you again! Haha...that little bundle's name is Pheobe she is almost 8 months old and still kickin! I really enjoyed there visit. It was nice to interact with Jamie and an actual live baby! LOL!

Children are a blessing from the LORD! No matter how they get here...God brings them into the earth, and He can take'm out.

Make the most of what you Do have today moms! Enjoy your children! Don't feel annoyed every time they cry. How did you feel when you first heard that beautiful cry? Hang on to that moment for a lifetime. Every time you hear your child crying and you begin to feel maybe a little annoyed...think of that day. Rejoice in the fact that, that sound means life.

Many blessings,


PS: Please, don't take your beautiful children for granted. Treat them like the gift they are.

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Friday, February 25, 2011

ATTENTION EVERYONE! Calling All People! Read This!!

Hello! Okay so, I've got 4 blogs I'm juggling now! :) I felt God leading me to create another website. To see what that website is all about, please click on the link above. Thanks everyone! I hope you enjoy my new website! I will keep all of my blogs up to date, so don't worry readers! Who says I can't juggle? LOL. Now this new website only has one post so far -it was just created today so, give it time...and I will have some more posts up in the near future for all of you to read if you are interested! i'm excited about the new blog and I hope you are too! Go check it out! =]


PS: Other links you might be interested in:

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

God's Handiwork

That's right, I am under construction. God has been... reconstructing, rebuilding, and reshaping me into the woman of God that He desires for me to be. It hasn't been easy. Every day a new lesson is set before me, just waiting to be learned. Sometimes I realize that...and work towards learning that lesson. Sometimes, I don't realize there even is a lesson there! The fact is though, is that God is always handing us a lesson. He is always handing us something new to learn. He does this so that we can grow and have more faith. Christ brings us through times of construction in our life not to hurt us or harm us...but to help us step out of our "comfort zones" so to speak...and learn to love a surrendered life. The storms of life may come but the Lord will be there. Just like a Mother Or a Dad chooses to discipline there child when they do wrong or get out of line, that is the same thing with God. Parents do that because they love there children and they desire to see them live right lives. Parents desire for there kids to grow, and to learn from there mistakes, they want to protect them from making wrong choices that could alter there lives (and not in a good way). SAME. WITH. GOD. He is our Abba Father. We are His children. We must listen to His instruction so that we can go far in life. So that His name will reach the ends of the earth. It's for His glory only. We must choose to live for HIM...not ourselves.

We all are under construction. How is God shaping you into the man or woman He desires you to be? The better question is, are you allowing Him to shape you?

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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Faith Without Works Is DEAD

Hey all, please do not worry about your life any longer, what you are going to eat what you are going to wear...etc. God will take care of you and He knows what is best for you better than you do! Don't doubt God anymore. He is the creator of the universe. You want life? Then trust the one who gives life -Jesus Christ.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart lately about faith. Faith. I see faith in a whole new way now. You see, my Husband and I have been trying to conceive ever since Father's Day of 2010. We have so far had no news to share. Notice, I said, "so far". I am NOT going to give up here and throw in the towel. I am going to continue to stick it out and to trust God.

The Lord has been bringing back to my memory about the Scripture passage in James 2:17 in the Bible that says, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." That is so true! I am trying to conceive and I am having all this faith but what good is that if I'm not working towards goals that will help me get there?

What I mean by that is, I have faith. But, I'm not being active and doing something about it. Wives who are trying to conceive naturally are told they have to eat right, sleep well, get exercise, get on vitamin supplements etc. I'm not doing any of that! WONDER we aren't conceiving.

I mean, I could be wrong...but, I feel that God won't honor my plans of becoming a mother if I am not working up to that goal. I have been struggling a little bit with eating, I don't eat enough...because I feel too depressed to sometimes. (Ladies, stop being depressed and start eating). I;m sure there is women out there who have suffered a miscarriage and feel like they just don't want to eat.

EAT! Please eat! Even if you don't feel like it...E-A-T. It's all just an attack of the enemy in your life. Listen to Jesus. Follow HIM. Dig into HIS Holy word. Drink it up! You'll see a difference. ;) Now, I haven't been much of an I did decide to start exercising I'm not even sure...where I would know how to start lol. When it comes to sleep...yes, I need it muchly! I think we can all get more sleep now a days.

Now all of that stuff is more on the physical health side of the coin...I believe we should keep a good balance. Physical health is very important BUT so is...Spiritual Health so...we gotta' remind ourselves to keep a good balance. Very recently, I have been doing a lot better with the eating I just gotta' work on my Spiritual life, gotta' make sure to take more trips to sleep land, gotta' somehow find an exercise routine (I think cleaning the house is good enough) lol!

To sum it up:

Trust Jesus in the good times and in the bad times. Surrender to his will. And don't forget to praise Him ALWAYS. He'll give you the strength and the grace to make it through! Don't just go through life. GROW through life! God Bless!


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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Journal Entry 1

So, I've been thinking about this recently. Why do so many people think it's a good idea to have a child to "improve" themselves. Pregnancy is not a fashion people! We shouldn't flaunt our pregnancy with the clothes we wear or what not...think of others. There are SO many people in this world who can't conceive.

Now a days women are encouraged to show off there pregnancies, take pride in there big belly's and are encouraged to where bold and flashy outfits to draw attention to what is so commonly called, "The Bump".

Ladies -please cover up. Please be sensitive to the large majority of women who can't conceive.

I think if people were more modest about their condition (and modest in every other way too)...the ridiculous rise in pre-marital pregnancies and teen pregnancies would go down. They are watching you. They are watching those of you who are expecting and those of you who aren't.

Are you being a good example to young women and girls out their?

I pray we ALL strive to better ourselves by choosing to do what is Holy, just, pure and honorable before the living God. Don't flaunt what you have just because you have it. Hide it, protect yourself! Do you not care about yourself? You are valuable people!

There are SO many hurting people in this world. There is a God shaped hole in all of us people. NOTHING/NO ONE can EVER fill that void inside of you but Jesus! Stop searching! Jesus is interested in you! He wants to help you and save you from the darkness you are wading in! Why continue to wade in that darkness when you know your about to drown in it! STOP doing this to yourself. START moving forward! You can't move forward alone! You must turn to Jesus! Ask for forgiveness! And strive to live like Him. Jesus is the only way! Salvation isn't a one time's daily! We must continue to strive to obey God, and live FOR HIM! Not for ourselves.
Please, none of you...don't take offense at this. I am not trying to put anybody down. Know my intentions. Thank you for reading this, God bless you.

PS: As I was writing this....I felt like I was writing it to a journal I am reminding others of these things, I am reminding myself of these things as well. Thank you for understanding.

-In Christ's Army,


Saturday, February 5, 2011


What do you think of this statement? I find it ever so true...

Life has been hard recently to be honest. I have been feeling lot's of tension (not so much anymore, now that we have talked it all through). The tension came about from many different things, finances, car troubles, a BIG up-coming trip we are planning on taking but, most of all -the lack of a child. My Husband and I had a miscarriage about a year ago or so, since then the waves we have been riding are tough, big, dark and overwhelming at times. Thankfully, God hasn't let the waves get too out of control. I find myself pondering sometimes, over the death of our little life. I don't call it a baby, I don't call it a child, I don't call it a him, or a her (we never found out what the gender was). I just call it our little life. Even though this little life was small, and didn't seem of importance to the world around it...doesn't mean in left no impact. That little life did, it changed it's Mommy and Daddy for the better. It taught us to be more grateful for each other, and the life around us. God, through that little life, taught us SO much. The only thing it didn't teach us to do was be ungrateful. In many ways, I am GRATEFUL that God took our little life back home. Then, in many ways I have this deep yearning in my Spirit to be with it again. It died shortly before we were gonna' find out the gender. (Just to give you an idea of how far along I was). "Life is like photography, you develop from the negatives."

That stands so true with me. Everyday without our little life is like everyday without a hug. (In my book, you gotta' at LEAST get one hug from your spouse a day, at LEAST. LEAST. (Key word lol). My Husband and I hug each other all the time! Everyday!! Our little life hugged us in many different was -of course never a physical hug but, a hug none the less. What I mean by this is, the time that we got to have with it was like one BIG hug, that never stopped...we always felt warm and fuzzy on the inside. (= Oh, how I long to get my hug back. Oh, how I long to be a mother.

Fortunately, for my husband and I -we are Christians so we can get hugs from our Daddy (God) now and forevermore! Because, we are going to be living with Jesus one day! And there will be no more sorrow, no more tears, and no more pain. I thank God for that! His grace is enough for me! I may not ever be able to to receive the beautiful gift of a child...but, I HAVE received something SO much greater, and that is eternal life in Heaven with my great big daddy -the savior of the universe...his hugs are like no other...his love is amazing. I stand in awe of His mercy and grace.

God Bless you, and do remember, to thank God today for what you DO have. It could all be gone in a second. Allow God to develop you through the negatives in life. Know that He has a purpose and a plan behind it -you can't see it now...but it's a part of a BIG beautiful plan for you...a plan that is going to NOT harm you, it's a plan that is going to give you HOPE and a future. God's timing is perfect. Walk with Jesus.

In Christ's Army,

PS: God doesn't just zap us with good feelings. He allows us to go through struggles and difficult things to strengthen our faith, and to help us have PATIENCE. It's all to help us to trust in HIM more...and lean on HIM for comfort and direction in life. Difficult times can make you bitter, or better. You can either go through them, or grow through them. You decide. (=

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Monday, January 31, 2011

Speak Out

Full Bloom


...Each of us are... unique. Each having different gifts and talents. Like a flower...each petal is unique yet -all of the petals create one flower. Each gift given to us, created by God has a function and a purpose. Just like each petal does, on a flower. Each gift creates a beautiful sight. God's gifts that He has given us (when put into action for HIS glory) please Him, it is a beautiful sight to see in His eyes. Just like the flower and it's petals, are pleasing to the eye, so are our gifts pleasing to the soul.

Christ died and rose again to make us whole, and free us from our sin. Eternal life is our main gift. Like a flower petal caught up in the wind -have I been caught up in God's grace. It's forever in God's arms I'll rest -even when I'm put to the test. I am not a double-minded man. My foundation isn't made out of sand. It's on the rock of Christ I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.

With these gifts I hope to glorify God...Knowing He is watching -it's easy to bloom, For I have an audience of one...And, He's coming soon.

In Christ's Army,

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When It's Rough

When It\'s

So, I've been going through sort of a rough time these past couple days. I'm just trying to keep a positive attitude. I love the LORD, I don't doubt Him, I trust Him. Yet, I am still struggling with feeling frustrated and confused. I know I shouldn't be but, sometimes it's hard. I know it's not in God's will for my husband and I to conceive right now. I trust that. I know God knows best -better than I know what's best. God's dreams for us are always so much bigger than our dreams for us. When times are rough we've just got to pray, and lean on Jesus.

I have found myself asking God over and over again -why are you prolonging this? WHY. WHY. WHY. Let me let you in on a little something -your not gonna' get the answer your looking for by asking, "Why". Sometimes God allows us to go through trials and rough times -not because He hates us, or he doesn't care. It's because He loves us -and He wants to stretch us so our faith, and trust in Him will grow.

James Chapter 1 VS. 2-8:

" 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."

I think this passage speaks for itself.

if your doubting today about TTC, or whatever you may be going through -don't.
STOP doubting START trusting the God who created it all...
Jesus Christ.

May God bless you in your journey's, be encouraged!

In Christ's Army,

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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Thank You!!


free counters

The Negative Tests

The Negative

I gotta' have more Faith!"
No wonder they were negative! Lol...I took two pregnancy tests recently...and they were negative...I told my husband I would just take the other pregnancy test we have later. My Husband and I were sort of perplexed. My period was overdue and still -no positive result. We figured it was just probably too soon to tell. So I waited and waited. Today I found out I am most certainly not pregnant! I got my period, shed a few tears, got some encouraging words from friends. But best of all -I got some comfort from my Jesus as well.
In all honesty -God is the one that has helped me the most through my TTC journey. If I didn't know Him I would be more lost then an albino in a snowstorm! I'm not putting down albinos I think you all are awesome! :) That is just funny -you'd probably admit it yourself.'s the truth. Jesus is my constant guide. Unfortunately, I don't always listen to what He is telling me. Sometimes I choose to go my own way and write my own path. But -that's when God reminds me..."Tina, I'm bigger than that".

I'm learning. I'm stubborn. And God has sent me sweet people across my path to remind me of that. It's humbling to feel "so sure" that you may be expecting -just to find out in the end your so wrong. :/ This TTC journey so far...has been quite a roller-coaster ride of emotions for everyone! Our families were hoping and praying...and still are! Some deeply desire for my Husband Jon and I to conceive. Along with the LORD, it feels so good to have great friends and family around us in this season of life.

The LORD has been speaking to me a lot today about timing. HIS--timing. He has been reminding me, that HIS timing is perfect. He desires for me to grow in my faith and trust in Him. That is why God is allowing me to go through these I will have that opportunity to lean on Him more, to trust him more, and to seek him more.

James 5:16:

16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective"

"The Prayer of a Righteous man is powerful and effective." That line stood out the most to me in this verse. What does this verse mean to you? To me, it reminds me that as long as I am putting God first above all else, prayerfully following after God's heart, and striving diligently to please Him with my whole prayers will not be hindered, they will be answered. The words I pray will be powerful and will availith much. I find comfort in that.

The Bible is very important. If you feel down I would encourage you to pick it up, dust it off and open it. It's pages are filled with life for your thirsty soul. If we aren't tapping into God's river of life. Just like a tree...that's not planted by the water will die. We need water to live. It's the same thing with God's Word, without it we will eventually rot and perish from Spiritual dryness.

Pslam 1:3:

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

"Which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither" This line stood out to me the most. What does this verse mean to you? To me, it's a beautiful line that reminds me that there is a time and a season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1). It also encourages me to not focus on the temporal things, but to instead, focus on the eternal things. Because, it is the eternal things that last forever. By this, I mean...reading God's Holy Word, tapping into it's life source -by doing this His words will become literally active within us. I will thrive off every morsel of His Word. It's my drink when I am thirsty, it's my food when I am hungry, it's my hope when I've got none, it's my guide when I am lost...

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path." (Psalm 119:105).

Without God's Word to guide me...everything including this TTC journey would be SO much harder! His Words are true. He is a just God, a loving God. I stand on His promises. His thoughts are higher than mine, his Words are deeper than mine, His love's much stronger than mine. It takes sacrifice to throw your hands up and go, "Here's my life LORD take it, it's yours. Take my plans, do what you want with me." But, once you feel like your walking on air...and falling! -Your where you need to be! Because, that's what it's like to believe.

In God's Army,

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Friday, January 28, 2011

About This Blog

Welcome To
My Blog

Hello everyone! This blog is about my emotional ups and downs of TTC, my fears, doubts, struggles but most of all...hope. I want the world to know...there is hope for those who are doubting and afraid. There is hope for those of you women out there TTC. Don't loose sight of God's greater purpose for your life. Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea...and follow me in my journey on TTC.

In God's Army,


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